My Room

I have moved to here now.

I don't completely agree with every detail that he says, but I am in complete agreement with the essence of what he's saying as well as the attitude/spirit he says it with.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=93757201891&ref=nf#/video/video.php?v=93757201891

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=93757201891&ref=nf#/video/video.php?v=93757201891

Thanks Jesus, for this man and his message in this day and age.

The Game with Minutes has been slowly but steadily improving. It's much like hearing the volume of a faint piece of beautiful/peaceful/placid music in the background of a room slowly but steadily increase. Frank Laubach is the man. I choose to spend the rest of my life playing this game. I am somewhat convinced that if I were not in East Asia, I would not have seriously started playing the game.






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I'm heading back to EA in a few weeks. I'm in the process of re-raising support to go. It's somewhat of a challenge cuz some ppl who supported me last year can't do it again this year due to their own various reasons. Something interesting is happening though. I have a lot more peace about the money coming in this year than last year. Last year, I was pretty worried at times. But this year, although I'm not completely calm about it, there is a sense of peace about things. Much like the background music of peaceful/tranquil music in a room rather than an intense/sharp feeling of it, the latter which I'm convinced is not what a follower of Christ should pursue.

The mystical power of the Holy Spirit accessed through the Game with Minutes






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I really think God is up to something here in Toronto. I don't say those words lightly. Frankly, before this year, I didn't really believe it.

While I was in East Asia, I received something like a vision of what God wants me to start in within the Toronto Chinese Christian community (doesn't necessarily have to be Chinese Christians, but that's where I have most of my connections, so that's where I think I should start it).

This summer, for the couple weeks I have been back so far, I started to tell some people about it. So far, the people I have told (with one exception), are on board with it. The amazing thing is, it seems that God has thrown some people in my path, who I weren't expecting to meet up with (cuz I didn't know they existed previously). These people just seem like pieces of the puzzle to form a fuller picture of what I believe God has called me to start.

I'm actually really excited to pursue this thing. But I have a year to grow first. I need another year of massive spiritual greenhouse growth in East Asia. Then I feel ready to start something.

These "previews" that I've seen that God has pieced together for this story of contributing towards the revival of Toronto excite me. I have seen the trailer this summer and I can't wait to be in the full screening when I get back next year.

Jesus is such an amazing director!

Once again, the mystical power of the Holy Spirit accessed through the Game with Minutes.


These words are from Frank Laubach himself after he played the Game with Minutes about 2 months.

"And I must witness that people outside are treating me differently. Obstacles
which I once would have regarded as insurmountable are melting away like
a mirage. People are becoming friendly who suspected or neglected me. I
feel, I feel like one who has had his violin out of tune with the orchestra and
at last is in harmony with the music of the universe."

I must say, I can't FULLY understand first-hand what he felt like when he penned those words to his father in 1930. However, I can say that I am not completely foreign to that feeling myself after playing for a few months. Especially after seeing the "preview"/"trailer" of what God's up to in Toronto next summer, I can say I can relate on a first-hand basis how he felt a little bit.

I'm kinda back!

Well.. Kinda.. I might post something or two in the summer while I'm here.

Stay tuned for some possible updates!

Not sure who still reads this thing. Sorry, but I've been gone for about a month now. I don't think I'll be updating this thing while I'm here. Perhaps I'll continue when I get back. For those of you who know where I am, you know. For those of you who don't. Ummm, you can ask me through other means. For those of you who know where I am but want updates, contact me in some other way and I'll put you on the list of updates.

It's been fun philosophically dicking around here. Until next time.

Today was good to get out of the house and see some friends. Was alone for a few days in the house recovering from the worst infection my lungs have ever come across. Man.... it was so tough a few days ago. I don't ever recall in my whole life how hard breathing was. Praise God for the start of a recovery.









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Lord, you have already broken her. Both emotionally, and literally. Not sure if she's broken spiritually. She still has not repented.

A big accident just occurred. She screamed in pain. My heart broke for her. Really. It did.

But... I prayed to the Lord to break her even more... to do WHATEVER is necessary for her to repent and submit to Him. I don't care what you do Lord. Whether you chop off her legs, chop off her arms... I don't care WHAT you do Lord... do WHATEVER you need to break her enough so that she'll submit to you in repentance finally. God forbid, but if God wills, even if you have to paralyze her Lord... in order for her to submit to you, do it Lord. She as stiff-necked as a spiritual mannequin. Lord, if you have to, make her a physical mannequin so that she can be spiritually alive.

C.S. Lewis said that the surest journey to hell is a quiet, undisturbed one that is slowly oblivious towards walking toward it. Oh Lord... please cause disturbance... don't let her walk down that quiet and undisturbed path that is sure to lead to hell.

These are the days where I truly wished Calvinism were true (I'm serious when I'm writing this now).

Lord... do whatever it takes to break her to the point where she'll finally bow down before you and find everlasting joy, peace, and love that lasts for eternity.








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This morning when I boarded the bus, I saw a metro newspaper lying on a seat. Having nothing better to do, I used the tips of my fingers to flip through it carefully (man, I'd really read the newspaper more if it weren't so dirty. I mean.. physically. I wonder whether the blackening of the fingertips is from the dirt ink, or the dirty articles that dig dirt on Sarah Palin's daughter.

Anyways, I got to this page where it showed 100 of the soldier-war heroes who have died serving Canada in Afghanistan. I looked at a handful of the faces. I don't know why... but something hit me. Something cut right into my heart. I felt so sad that these Canadian heroes had to die in the battlefield... so sacrificial... to get out of their comfort zone, and suffer intense discomfort, bad living conditions, incessant alertness/vigilance of enemy and danger, and way more. I had compassion for their families...

Experiencing suffering yourself (even just a little in comparison to fighting a war in afghanistan, where pictures will not suffice to express reality there), as well as watching it in your own environment right in front of your eyes really changes how you relate to fellow sufferers you see or read in the media. At least for me. Experientially comprehending what suffering actually feels like first hand bestows upon the sufferer huge empathic capacity to enter into the suffering world of another.

As a result from looking at the faces of a handful of those 100 Canadian soldiers fighting for the oppressed in Afghanistan... I first cried in my heart, then my body was about to follow suit. My eyes had the urge to let some tears out. I couldn't believe it! I was about to cry! I moved my eyes away from the page, partly trying to understand why my reaction was so intense compared to myself normally, partly trying to suppress those tears.

As C.S. Lewis said, war helps people focus on more important things in life rather than the trivial. These soldiers had meaning in what they sacrificed for.

(paraphrased)"You have the choice Peter Petrelli, to choose a life that has happiness, or choose a life that has meaning"-Linderman from Heroes

Justice has been served this past week.

Too long have you thought you deserved everything you have now.

Too long have you believed people should treat you like a princess

Too long have you remained childish in your immaturity

Too long have you failed to be disciplined by your parents who loved you too little to feel the pain of the consequences of impulsive and selfish decisions as well as narcissistic attitudes

Too long have you revolved the whole world around yourself. For someone in their mid-20s. Man that is evil.

Too long have you felt no remorse for the selfish sins you have committed without any ounce of regret. Even your average atheist in North America would illogically, yet legitimately feel at least a drop of guilty conscience for your extravagant selfishness.

Too long. Too long.

You have made mistakes like everyone. But you do not even regret or have any human conscience that yells some sense into you when you wrong others. Since you have failed to repent after so many years of blatant wrong-doing without any hint of contrition, justice has been served this week.

Your human father and mother would not discipline you when you did non-negotiably wrong-acts. There was a gracious time of patience. Now the heavenly father has done what your earthly father should have done a long time ago. Discipline you severely. This week, justice spoke.

There is still time to repent and come to Jesus and submit to him. You have been raised up in a Christian family all your life. You went to a Christian elementary school, your parents brought you to a church, they were non-abusive (except for the abuse of allowing one of their children to unrestrainingly deteriorate in loss of love due to self-love). Yet you still refuse to repent and ditch your lifestyle that is clearly self-destructive to any objective viewer of your life. Your narcissistic choices don't even leave you happy. Be honest with yourself.

Refuse to repent and more justice will come. Repent now, and all the injustices you have layed upon all the other objects human beings you have encountered in your life will be forgiven, and you will have a brand new life.

Oh Lord... how long t'il you release the father and mother from their oppressive child?


...


Oh Lord, have I gone to far in my indignation?









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edit 9:53pm

Oh Lord... forgive me.. a sinner.

Os Guinness is cool. We need more Christians like him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFDgtJfeok

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87IjVPaYmVY&feature=related

He makes good points. For those non-believers who are spiritually hungry, interested and open towards hearing the gospel, we should go right into the gospel with them. However, for those who are not immediately spiritually hungry, interested, and open, go to right into the gospel, although that would have good intentions, would be unwise. At least I think so. The hard work of pre-evangelism needs to be done. Wisely phrased and positioned questions can unlock the floodgates of the heart to pursue and yearn for something more deeply satisfying than what they have now. It takes skill to do that. Not that the Spirit won`t work within limits, but we Christians have to do our part to find out how the Spirit works best.

When people asked Jesus questions in the gospel, he didn`t always just to straight towards mentioning the fact that his counterpart(s) were sinful pagans and needed to repent, but he entered their train of thought to address them where they were thinking, and helped them to arrive at truth in the specific topic they asked him about.

I don`t have pleasure saying the following, but a lot of Christian authors and speakers don`t help relatively mature Christians dig deeper into biblical truth and its implications into the 21st century. They say what non-believing pagans have to hear - the gospel. But for those believers established into the pathway of discipleship for, I don`t know... let`s say a decade, they are left hungry, wanting deeper spiritual truth.

Now, I recognize that as Christians, we need to be reminded of the basics from time to time. At the same time, I believe God expects his children to learn more and more about him. After all, he created the desire for some of us to dig deeper into Christian spiritual knowledge. In this day and age, you`ll get a lot of the Christian authors and speakers who teach the basics, and maybe a little more a lot. But finding ones who dip really deep are hard. So for myself, once I find them, I stick to them like glue. In my mind, I position them as the Justice league of Christian philosophy. Since its so hard to find these `heroes`, I place them in a league. In an ideal world, where we would have unlimited time, energy, and resources, we could read all the Christian books out there to get the good and the bad out of all the authors. However, since we have limited time and energy, we have to be selective in our book reading to not read useless stuff. And those who belong to the Justice League of Christian philosophy are likely to read, quote, reference others who are in the same `league`, pun intended.

If someone is just going to merely paraphrase scripture, its not much different from just reading the Bible itself on your own time. However, someone helps you glance scripture at an angle you never considered, it is very enlightening indeed.

What do these Justice League Christians do? They help you arrive at implications of Biblical truth that you would not have arrived at yourself. They help you define biblical terms and concepts in more detail. They explain and clarify your Christian thinking. They help you understand the whys of life in a Christian perspective. They use logic to reason why alternative worldviews inadequately explain certain things in life as opposed to the Christian worldview. They help you understand human nature to help conform it to Christ more.

I read some A.W. Tozer yesterday. This guy recently joined my `justice league`. Cuz he actually says some serious things.


Someone may fear that we are magnifying private religion out of all proportion, that the `us` of New Tetsament is being displayed by a selfish `I`. Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each otherÉ They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which one must individually bow. So one hundred worshipers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become `unity` conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. Social religion is perfected when private religion is purified. The body becomes stronger as its members become healthier. The whole church of God gains when the members that compose it begin to seek a better and a higher life.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p81_kAFdyr8

man, brown people are awesome.

Dinesh D'souza is the man.

I just watched this debate and it was entertaining.

Dinesh is just so good. He is such a good speaker with his use of language. His command of the English language is superb. Man... when he went (he was the 2nd speaker), not only was I digesting his content, but I also tried to analyze his conscientious constructions of words to present his arguments. Man... the more I try to improve my own ability in writing, speaking, explaining, persuading, and communicating, the more and more I appreciate such a marvelously high level of it when it is demonstrated. Kinda like how one appreciates more the fight scenes of jackie chan, jet li, and tony jaa when they take their first week of martial arts training. Or how someone admires Tiger Woods or Roger Federer a lot more when they first pick up a golf club or a tennis racquet. Man... dinesh, how is your English so sexy. Your content is wicked too.

How come brown scholars have such amazing English skills?

Why is it so hard to find a good, healthy, and civil debate?

Why must so many people get emotionally defensive when they intellectually defend their ideas? Why must they raise their voices as if that would increase the logical coherence of their arguments? Why must the one whom they are disagreeing with be regarded as an enemy? Why must there be mud-slinging a lot of the time?

I just got in 3 debates with 3 Christians (well, one's nominally Christian) at a dinner table. Why must have they gotten heated?

Why can't we just calmly and civily engage in discussions of disagreement with love? It happened in the C4C STINT orientation with other fellow Christians who love the Lord. Why is it so hard to find enriching discussions of disagreement with others?

Sigh....

Tonight got pretty heated. I tried to stay calm on my part, but due to feedback, I may have crossed some lines. In retrospect, I think I did. Although I honestly thought I wasn't the one to initiate raising my voice or the emotional meter.

I feel a sense of guilt within me now. Should I feel guilty though? Is this guilt deserved? Or is it a feeling that hovers naturally over my mind in the aftermath of a heated argument due to numerous past associations where I did deserve the guilt for fueling the heat in an argument myself? Judging myself can be a tricky thing. I can scarcely say that I am successfully objective in my self-analysis most of the time. I'm a human. Therefore I have an infinite knack for rationalizing my questionable behaviour. But then again, is it true that I was the one in the right sometimes?

Should I feel guilty for what happened tonight? And if the answer is yes, how much guilt should I feel? I feel that the ones responsible for emotionally heating the argument were the others. But then again, that's an assessment made with all my subjective/self-favouring favouritism locked into the analysis. It's hard to get that favouritism out of the way when judging oneself.

I think I should apologize though. Maybe even if I didn't heat the argument up, I maintained it and therefore was a consumer of the heat. I condoned the tension by perpetuating the uncivil discussion.

But seriously though, why can't us Christians have civil disagreeing discussions without getting heated? It can be potentially very enlightening to discuss clashing ideas, as well as being very fun, and it can even foster a friendship not in spite of disagreement, but because of it if both parties are united in Christ. I think of Orvin and Leemarc, 2 Calvinists, who I love to discuss our soteriological disagreements with. It doesn't get heated, I hear interesting arguments from a perspective that I disagree with, respect is mutual, and even some humour gets tossed in without any attacks being personal (unless of course we're jovially joking around with each other, which we do). I love our respectful/enriching/civil discussions. It's hard to find people who are so safe to conversationally disagree with (even, and in some cases especially among other Christians, I'm not talking about blatant fundamental heresy, which deserves a bashing though).

sigh...












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I leave for East Asia on September the 12th.